Move Beyond The World of Handcrafted Fromage: France's Crisps Represent Absolutely Depraved.
This past Christmas, I found myself in France, an area that appeared exuding refined charm. Elegant, shimmering illuminations, outdoor market stands piled high with exquisitely fresh produce, and such an abundance of fromage that could line the whole Eurotunnel with arterial plaque. Overflowing trays of shimmering crustaceans resting on ice glimpsed through fogged brasserie windows. While observing a lengthy yet well-mannered line of well-dressed citizens collecting their artisanal *Bûche de Noël*, I felt a traitorous thought, that my native city, York, which turns into a contemporary interpretation of a tableau of excess at this time of year complete with e-cigarettes tasting of mincemeat and ready-to-drink concoctions, would do well to absorb some pointers.
A Refined Veneer
However all this “art de vivre” stuff is just an elegant facade – France is as prey to its basest appetites similar to everywhere else. Merely enter any grocery store to witness it. The potato chip section is an absolute sink of depravity, stacked with the likes of Roquefort, falafel, Flemish stew and salted butter tastes. Who eats a fried potato snack flavoured like dairy spread? It brings to mind something from those infamous midway festivals where they fry solid butter in batter. One popular comic stated online they are the ultimate chip she has ever sampled, though she has clearly succumbed to an instance of local propaganda – she grew up in Brittany.
A Global Lawlessness
One must acknowledge the crisp flavouring industry internationally is as lawless and unregulated as major tech firms. Nobody seems willing to allow the humble spud to shine on its own, embellished as it should be by a modest application of seasoning. Our own nation possesses a dubious legacy with crisp flavours in the UK, notably around Christmas. Not long ago, let us not forget, gave us festive-spiced tortilla chips and limited-edition Beef Wellington Walkers. And who could forget the occasion when a major retailer believed “festive fizz and berries” constituted a desirable taste on a potato chip? I had higher hopes from the home of haute cuisine.
What next? *Pâté*-flavoured snacks? Choux pastry flavour? Cigarette-tasting crisps? I must cease, before I accidentally suggest the next big thing.
